ThatвЂ™s because, like вЂњFifty Shades of Grey,вЂќ вЂњ365 DaysвЂќ is a conservative daydream. Laura and Nacho donвЂ™t actually have sex, although she sure does fantasize about it. And so, when Laura walks in on Massimo in flagrante delicto with his ex, she runs off with Nacho, who will serve as her emotional support hunk for the remainder of the film. (ItвЂ™s key to the вЂњ365 DaysвЂќ lifestyle that everyone is secretly rich, or at least possessed of an impeccable eye for interior design.) Where Massimo is dominant and controlling, Nacho is tender and non-threatening. ItвЂ™s even more difficult not to laugh when this humble working man lives in a luxe-bohemian beach shack that looks like a boutique hotel in Tulum. ItвЂ™s hard not to get the giggles when Nacho is introduced strolling towards the camera in a trucker hat and ripped jeans. WhatвЂ™s next is a new man in LauraвЂ™s life, ostensible gardener Nacho ( Simone Susinna). And once the luxurious formalities of lavish wedding and exotic honeymoon are dispensed with, вЂњ365 Days: This DayвЂќ looks around and says to itself, вЂњWhatвЂ™s next?вЂќ

But as the sequel opens with the camera swirling around Laura and Massimo as they try to swallow each othersвЂ™ tonsils on an Instagram-worthy Italian cliff, itвЂ™s like LauraвЂ™s brush with death in a fiery car crash never happened. At the end of the last movie, it seemed as though Laura would never get to live her dream of buying an obscenely expensive wedding dress-oh, and marrying the man she loves (or, at least, ate her out on a yacht). Like вЂњFifty Shades of Grey,вЂќ вЂњ365 DaysвЂќ inserts and throws out storylines according to its own harebrained whims. That leaves the Netflix-produced sequel, вЂњ365 Days: This Day,вЂќ with as little to do as Laura, who goes from unwilling captive to bored housewife in record time. In this filmвЂ™s relentlessly shallow worldview, those are the only things that matter. But the man looks like an underwear model and spends like a Russian oligarch. It didnвЂ™t take a full calendar year for ordinary Warsaw girl Laura (Anna Maria Sieklucka) to fall for Italian mafia kingpin Don Massimo ( Michele Morrone): Sure, he drugged and kidnapped her while she was on vacation in Sicily, promising to free her after 365 days if she didnвЂ™t learn to love him in the meantime.

Underneath its repellant rape-culture premise, the first вЂњ365 DaysвЂќ movie contained a nugget of appealing fantasy: Namely, the idea of giving up all the irritating obligations and boorish men that fill the lives of independent, overworked modern women and letting someone else make the decisions for a while.

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